I (hate) Route 30

If you've ever been to Lancaster County, you know Route 30 is considered to be the 'heart' of Amish Country, running east from the city through Paradise. However, I consider it to be one long strip mall, full of generic souvenir shops and outlet malls and the most bland and tasteless tourist traps. The way I look at it, if you want to experience Amish Country, you stay away from Route 30. If you just want to buy an "I (heart) Intercourse" t-shirt, then you go to Route 30.

Last week a woman ordered a gift certificate. I didn't even know we sold gift certificates until she asked, and I heard myself replying, "Absolutely!" So not only did I need to send her a gift certificate quickly (she wanted it for Wednesday), but I needed to create one first! Then my mother-in-law went into the hospital.

Needless to say, I missed Wednesday, so I decided to deliver it instead of mail it. I tried on Thursday, leaving the Ephrata hospital and heading down 322...right into the Ephrata Fair, which was starting that night. After three detours I was hopelessly lost, so I just went home.

Today I had a little bit of time so I thought I'd try again. I found the house, just off Route 30, but no one was home. I would have left the gift certificate, except when I went to sign it (to make it 'official') I didn't have a pen! No problem, I was right by Route 30.

Six miles later, I finally found a little antique store that was open and had pens. On my way out I noticed their collection of rack cards. Knowing we needed some 'written material for guests' (per our B&B association feedback), I started grabbing handfuls. (I even had a nice conversation with a woman who was in town antiquing, and will be back next August for the Lititz craft fair and [ta-da!] staying at Speedwell Forge B&B.) But then I thought I should visit some of these tourist shops, so I can make recommendations to our guests.

So I dropped off the gift certificate and drove Route 30 back into the city. My first stop was at a "bakery" (with no ovens in sight) which offered "over 10,000 items" (proudly noted on the door) of junk. Worse than junk--the same junk you can buy at any souvenir shop anywhere in the country. But what I really took offense at were the dolls with faces.

Authentic Amish dolls don't have faces; it violates the second commandment (graven images). That is not to say that a doll without a face is authentic, but one with a face is patently not. So would it kill these tourist traps to educate the public, rather than just sell them cheap knock-offs?

So that was the beginning and the end of my visiting the tourist shops. Instead I will continue to recommend guests go to Route 340 (just a little north of 30), or to the roadside stands out in the countryside, and avoid Route 30 entirely.

By the way, we are about 25 minutes from Route 30,. We don't have the traffic or the crowds or the tourist traps. Instead we have Lititz and Manheim, two small towns intent on keeping their identity and history. We have open country roads and beautiful churches, lakes and parks, quaint little stores and fine restaurants (not chain restaurants!) that don't have an hour-long wait on weekends. I'll take this over Route 30 any day.

Maybe I should change our logo to "Close to everything, far from Route 30" ?

P.S. We hit 30% occupancy in September which, for a new B&B, is fantastic!

Bad day 2: The next day

There's a line in Harry Chapin's song "Word Wizard" that I could always relate to:

Every secret he has, he's only told the world so far...
Cause he shows off his wounds before they turn to scars.

So here are the latest wounds.

I finally got to sleep around 3am and woke up at 6am to head out to my food handling course, which was about an hour away. I had lost the instruction packet they sent me, so I just looked up the address on the Internet and ran MapQuest. An hour later, I found myself in the middle of a housing project in the middle of nowhere.

It took me 10 minutes just to find a gas station to ask for directions, and they had no clue because, it turned out, MapQuest had sent me over 20 miles from my destination! I was half an hour late and they should have sent me home, but the instructor took pity and let me stay. Then he asked if I'd read the book...

In the meantime, Dawn and Bob, my brother-in-law, were handling breakfast. I'd prepared everything the night before and left them with strict instructions: Four people got french toast casserole, and the two new people got banana-blueberry waffles (because there wasn't enough french toast). For some reason, they ignored me and split the french toast into five pieces and served it.

Now if you're following the math, there were six guests and five plates. And naturally the person who didn't get the french toast had gotten waffles the day before. So not only did she have to wait while everyone else was eating, but she got same meal two days in a row!

Around that time, our septic system alarm went off. Apparently, the brand-new, 1,800-gallon-per-day system, with three pumps and a leech field bigger than a football field, wasn't working. Dawn called the company that installed it and they said they'd be right over...tomorrow morning. But they assured us that as long as we didn't use any water today, it would be fine.

(I know I promised I would never mention the septic system again, but that was when I assumed this grossly oversized system would work for 50 years without a problem, not two months!)

Then Dawn got a call from someone who wanted to change her reservation to a different weekend. Dawn is still coming up to speed on the new reservation software (which makes even the simple tasks complex) and so she told the guest she'd call her back, and she called me. (Did I mention I was in class all day?) So I stepped Dawn through it and she called the guest back to confirm, and the guest said she had changed her mind and wanted to keep the original weekend.

In the afternoon my brother-in-law had to leave, so Dawn called Ruth and asked her to house-sit while she ran to the hospital. Meanwhile I had finished the food handling course and taken the test (I'm pretty sure I aced it) and was headed home, when sleep deprivation finally overtook me. I pulled over in a rest stop and took an hour nap. With the convertible top down. Under a tree full of birds.

So I got home and changed my clothes, and talked to our guests who were staying in Bill's Room (with the full-size bed). On the web site I have that listed "for business and single travelers" because it seems couples only want a queen or king, but this couple was very happy with the room and they loved the mattress. So I'm going to change the web site -- there's no point in discouraging couples from staying there. As long as they know it's a full-size mattress, they can make their own decision.

Speaking of changes, we're also talking about cancelling the order for the pool table (which we placed last June!) and just setting up the attic as a massage room. (Dawn has two masseuses willing to come to the house to do 'couples massage' but we can't do that in the guestrooms, and I didn't want to do it downstairs.) The only reason we were getting a pool table was because Dawn's grandfather had one, and Dawn wanted to restore it to the way she remembered it. If she's willing to let the pool table go, I'm happy to save the money.

I wanted to get to the hospital but by the time I was done with chores, visiting hours were over. Fortunately my mother-in-law had stabilized and was doing much better, even though they still didn't know what was wrong. Tomorrow they are transferring her out of ICU and are running a battery of blood tests, so hopefully something will turn up.

Tomorrow, by the way, is turn-about: Dawn is going to a job interview at 8am, leaving me to handle the breakfast on my own. Since I made fun of her, I better not mess up. (Or, at least, just convince my guests not to tell her.)

Update on 9/27/06: I messed up. I made crepes, or I should say I tried to but they came out so thick they were more like pancakes. Fortunately the guests didn't realize this: Instead of putting jelly on the crepes, they just put syrup on the pancakes, and were fine.

And the 1,800-gallon-per-day septic system had been shut down by a thimble-full of dirt, which had blocked the intake filter for the main pump.

Bad day

Yesterday was a Good Day: We'd met our goal and gotten the Paymaster's Office open, and both of our newlywed couples were happy. Therefore, by karmic law, today had to be a Bad Day.

This was already going to be a busy day: We had to serve breakfast for eight, then clean the kitchen, change two rooms, freshen up two more rooms, meet the Eberly family reunion at 1:30, meet the Authentic B&B crew at 2, and check in one new guest. After that, I needed to study for a food handling certification course I am taking tomorrow.

Then, right after breakfast, Dawn's mom called because she needed to go to the hospital. (I felt a little guilty complaining about my day when someone else had to go to the hospital, but then I realized: She can write her own blog.) So Dawn took her, leaving me to manage everything else. I was making good progress but then at 1:30pm, someone honked their horn. I looked out the window and instead of the 3 or 4 cars I expected for the Eberly family, there were thirteen!

Even worse, there was a wolf sanctuary tour going on, so they couldn't park in back. Instead, they came down our driveway, and our parking lot for 5 suddenly held 15! Then, one of our guests (who had been on the wolf tour) came back and needed to leave! Fortunately one of the Eberlys knew how to manage traffic, and he was yelling and pointing and everyone was weaving in and out and somehow it all worked out.

Mr. Eberly, by the way, was a painter and paper hanger, and he installed the wallpaper in the mansion in 1946 and again in 1962. We know this because he signed the wall underneath the wallpaper twice. During the restoration, we "framed" his signature and left it exposed as a conversation piece. His children (all eight of them!) were having a reunion and wanted to come by and get pictures, so I started to give them a tour when my new guest arrived.

Now, check-in time is normally 3pm and it was only quarter to 2, and the room wasn't ready yet. I tried to send the guest away for lunch or something, but they'd just driven from New Jersey and wanted to rest a while. The problem was, I couldn't let them in that room. And I had 25 Eberlys wandering around. And then the Authentic B&B folks arrived. (In three more cars!)

The Authentic B&B association was coming to do a follow-up inspection, after they'd rejected us in August, to see if we now met their standards. Although I'm still not clear what their standards are, I was willing to bet having stacked parking, 25 people milling about, two guests waiting to check in, 1 dirty bedroom and a mountain of laundry at 2pm probably didn't meet them. So I threw myself on their mercy and explained everything that happened: The mom in the hospital, the almost full house, the family reunion, and the early guests, and the other innkeepers just looked at me and said, "So? Sounds like any other day in the business."

I brought the innkeepers in and basically told them they were on their own while I finished the guest room. (Probably not the wisest thing I've ever done, but I tend to fall apart under pressure.) So while I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor, the new guests walk in behind me and say, "Is this our room?" When I said yes, they moved in, even while I was still cleaning!

I did divert the Authentic B&B folks down to the wolf sanctuary for a bit, and by then the Eberly folks had left. (They gave me a framed picture of Mr. Eberly in 1972, which was pretty cool.) I thought everything was under control and then the new guest came down and asked for a bottle opener.

We have two bottle openers, and I couldn't find either one of them to save my life. I searched everywhere except the basement, and we had just used it yesterday! (And not in the basement.) Our poor guest, who had already mentioned when booking that he normally stays at another B&B but they were full this weekend, could not get a parking space, could not get into his room, and now could not open his bottle of wine!

He went back upstairs and I walked down to my mother's to get her bottle opener (she was in the hospital, she didn't need it!) and when I returned, I knocked on his room door only to wake him from a nap! So I handed him the bottle opener and some Wilbur buds and a phone, and he was so dazed he didn't even ask about the phone. (I had stolen it to test the phone system in the basement, and forgotten to put it back.)

Finally around 5pm everyone was settled, and so I grabbed my book (I still needed to study!) and headed down to the hospital. I was there maybe 10 minutes, when Dawn asked me to take my brother-in-law home. (He had ridden in with Dawn that morning.) So I got back to the farm and realized that I was going to be gone the next day, and Dawn was responsible for feeding six people, changing two rooms, checking in new guests, all while taking care of her mom. So I spent the next four hours preparing breakfast, setting the table, finishing the laundry, even making a dessert for tomorrow. It's now midnight, and I haven't studied for my course at all.

Wish me luck. (And wish Dawn's mom luck as well. Thanks.)

Paymaster's Office Revisited

Anyone who has been reading this journal for a while probably saw those incredible pictures of the Paymaster's Office and said, "something's fishy."

Just out of camera range, everything was in total chaos. This was due in small part to the photographers, who love to move things around, but in large part to me, because I was too clever for my own good. Our deadline was September 23 but the photographers could only come September 18 or mid-October. Not willing to wait, and knowing we were only going to photograph the bedroom, I told everyone to focus on that, and as you can see it turned out beautifully.

However, that meant with one week to deadline, everyone moved into the kitchen: The contractor was installing the cabinets, the granite guy was installing the countertop, the plumbers were installing the sink, Dawn and Matt were painting, Darin was installing the windows, storm windows, and blinds, Ruth was cleaning, and the locksmith was installing a lock! And all of this was happening in about 15 square feet!

How it all came together, I have no idea, because everyone knew that I created the situation and I was staying as far away as possible. But it did come together with only a few minor glitches:

• The electricians ran the phone line but didn't terminate it with a connector! So I went to plug the line into my PBX and instead of an RJ11 jack I found...nothing. Needless to say, there's no phone service.
• The Paymaster's Window (which is inside the building between the bedroom and the kitchen) needs to be tempered glass, which needs to be special ordered, which hasn't come in yet, so there's no Paymaster's Window. Since it is inside it's no big deal, except the kitchen wall is painted green and the bedroom wall is painted brown and it looks pretty funny where they come together.
• The upholstered chairs weren't finished in time. Dawn and I put in some antique windsor chairs which, for wooden chairs, are surprisingly comfortable.
• The kitchen cabinet doors need another coat of paint, but because we were afraid they would stink up the house, we took the cabinet doors out. So imagine all your kitchen cabinets without any doors.
• Now imagine them without any dishes, either, because I realized (too late) that I hadn't washed them yet. This set of china Dawn actually found sitting in the barn, boxed, in perfectly good condition. It's a nice set, and the price was right, but I have no idea how long they'd been sitting in the barn, and in any case they needed to be run through the dishwasher.
• Finally, the bathroom needs a towel ring and a door hook, the front door jamb needs to be painted, and the gutter spout needs to be finished. But all in all a very small and manageable list. Considering the shape of that building not four weeks ago, it's nothing short of a miracle.

And what was the driver for this death-march? What could possibly motivate a dozen people to work insane hours to finish on this particular date? A wedding, of course. Or in our case, two weddings.

A couple from Texas was coming to Lancaster to get married, and wanted to spend their first night in the Paymaster's Office. (And they saw it when it was still full of junk and 30+ years of dirt!) We agreed that if the Paymaster's Office wasn't finished in time, that they could stay in the Summer Kitchen.

Then we found out the couple that had rented the Summer Kitchen for several years (before we started renovation) were getting married on the same weekend, and wanted to spend their first night in there! And while the Summer Kitchen does sleep four, both couples were very clear that they did not want to share.

So we had to finish the Paymaster's Office, or risk disappointing both brides. Just the thought of that--or perhaps the thought of facing bridezilla--kept everyone going day and night. Matt in particular deserves special praise, as he worked as late as 4am to get the painting finished.

And yes, the brides were thrilled.

Final inspection

Our building permit was valid for 18 months, and expires on September 26 of this year.

Today we officially completed the project.

Or I should say, phase 1 of the project.

I'm too tired to celebrate.

Click for larger view (PDF)

Introducing...the Paymaster's Office

The most disturbing thing I have to do

[Note: Children and people with weak stomachs should skip this post immediately.]

[I'm not kidding.]

As an innkeeper, I'm sure you can imagine some of the more unpleasant responsibilities I have, but this is by far the worst:

Yes, that's a rubber duck. A squeaking duck, I might add. Dawn picked these up at a conference show to put in the whirlpool baths; it seemed like a good idea at the time. What we didn't realize was that the squeaker would allow water to get in, and so before I clean the duck (in the dishwasher) I first have to squeeze the water out.

The squeaker is under the duck, and so when I squeeze it a stream of water shoots out from underneath. I have delicate sensibilities, and this offends every single one of them. I couldn't even bring myself to post a photo of the duck being ...uh ... dehydrated.

And there are three ducks.

Channel 11 News

I finally got around to copying the Channel 11 news story from July 20, 2006. Thanks to Juliane and Matt for coming out, and airing it before our grand opening. Despite how much they saw still needed to be done, they reported with a straight face that we would be open that weekend. (And we were!)

Once again, Dawn refused to be in the interview, leaving me to look like the idiot. At least I didn't say anything stupid like the last time.

Time to download this 2-minute video: 1 minute for broadband, 22 minutes for dial-up

Referrals

A quick note (since it's 2:30am and I have to make breakfast for seven in about 5 hours) that the day after we had our first repeat guests, we also had our first referred guests!

The weird part was, it wasn't a past guest who referred us, but a new guest who had just checked in. They went out to lunch and met another couple that had just driven to Lititz and didn't have reservations, and they told them about us. We just happened to have one room available, so it worked out perfectly.

On top of that, our repeat guests from last night told us they'd stayed at many B&Bs and ours was "the best." His words, not mine, and I was grinning ear to ear. Of course, I'm sure I lost that designation the next morning when my breadmaker turned out a soggy lump of dough and I completely forgot the first course. (Not sure how I missed one-third of breakfast, but it wasn't until we were clearing the dishes that I remembered.)

By the way, on Sunday October 8 from 1pm to 5pm, Historic York and the Historic Preservation Trust of Lancaster County will co-host this year's house tour, "ONE BRIDGE, TWO COUNTIES: The Most Memorable Historic House Tour Ever." If you're into historic architecture at all, you'll want to attend. We're not on the tour, so of course you'll want to stay here after the tour. :-) We're fully booked October 7 (thanks to the Lititz chocolate walk), but we have rooms available October 8, including the newly-renovated Paymaster's Office.

Paymaster progress II

The windows are all in, the floors and walls are done, the heating/cooling is done, the electric is finished, the fireplace is finished, the whirlpool bath is finished. The kitchen cabinet is being installed today, and the granite countertop will be taken care of next week. The mattresses are being delivered today, the bathroom and kitchen need paint, and I'm not sure if the two chairs that are going in here have been upholstered yet. But by hook or by crook, it will be finished a week from today.

The real trick is the photographers are coming Monday, so we have to make it look like it's completely finished, even if it's not.

Repeat guests

It's usually years before a B&B gets repeat guests. We're getting ours in less than 2 months!

I was actually in the process of putting together comment cards to send to our past guests -- they say 30 days is a good time to wait, and it's been 47 -- when I got the call: Our second guests are moving out of the area, and wanted to visit Lititz one last time. And they wanted to stay with us again! That's high praise indeed, considering how much went wrong that first week.

So I guess I don't have to send them a comment card now.

[Later on that same day...]

We got a postcard from one of our guests today! That was so sweet, and so unexpected. It read:

Thank you for all your hospitality at Speedwell Forge. We wish you every continued success with the B&B. We did manage to find and buy the perfect quilt at a Mennonite shop opposite the quilt museum in Intercourse. In the meantime we have been living like the Amish this weekend with a 48-hour powerout in Connecticut!"

I'm getting it framed.

TripAdvisor

An investment broker I met had this sign on her desk: "If you liked the service, please tell a friend. If you didn't like the service, please tell me." That seemed to sum up customer service pretty well. Of course, in the Internet age, you can also tell the public at large via sites like TripAdvisor.

I was thinking about this today and the cynic in me realized that there is absolutely no benefit to posting a positive review, but plenty of incentive to post a negative one. Think about it: If you tell others about a great place, more people will come, and the prices will go up. But if you warn others away, then next time you may be able to enjoy it with fewer people and possibly even lower prices.

So leaving a positive review is an act of pure beneficence, unless of course the place is brand new and you want to make sure it is still in business next year by giving it a good review. (Hint, hint.)

And by an amazing coincidence, I just happen to have links to four review sites right here:

• TripAdvisor
• BedandBreakfast.com
• bnbfinder.com
• Pamela Lanier's Bed & Breakfasts

FlavorFest Restaurant Week

Interestingly enough, I'm finding a lot of our guests are skipping the "fine" restaurants and going to the local diners. (With the notable exception of the guests I sent to the local diner, thinking it was a fine restaurant.)

I think it's because our guests come to us because they want to experience something new (and there aren't many places you can experience an 18th-century ironmaster's mansion), and they want the same from their restaurant as well. And I hate to say it, but most fine restaurants tend to be fairly generic--not in the sense that they all look alike or serve the same food, but they feel the same. A nice French restaurant in Lancaster is probably just like a fine French restaurant in Philadelphia, or any major city.

So our guests want something unique, and it doesn't matter if it's fast food or fine dining, it has to be local and authentic. So I'm in the process of collecting menus for the Lititz Family Cupboard and Capricio's Cafe, and other restaurants I wouldn't have thought to send guests, but that's where they want to go.

Still, for some guests celebrating a special occasion, only the best will do, so here is my list of fine restaurants near us that I'd recommend. Those marked with a star are participating in "Restaurant Week" September 11-17, providing a 3-course meal for $30. For some, it's a great deal.

• Olde Lincoln House in Ephrata (8 miles)
• The Restaurant at Doneckers (10 miles) **
• Log Cabin in Leola (10 miles) **
• Lily's on Main in Ephrata (10 miles)
• Haydn Zugs in East Petersburg (11 miles)
• Stockyard Inn in Lancaster (13 miles) **
• Alois at Bube's Brewery (13 miles, formal) **
• Christopher's Casual in Lancaster (14 miles)
• Strawberry Hill in Lancaster (15 miles)
• Carr's Restaurant in Lancaster (15 miles) **
• Gibraltar in Lancaster (16 miles) **
• Accomac Inn in Wrightsville (26 miles)

Note that this list is entirely different than my family-friendly list, although some restaurants (Olde Lincoln House and Lily's on Main) made both. Christopher's, which just relocated and is opening again tomorrow, is also my only vegetarian option. If anyone knows another restaurant that actually caters to vegetarians (i.e. more than salad and spaghetti), please let me know.

Please don't click here

I set up a pay-per-click campaign, so now if you search for things like "Lititz" or "Lancaster hotel" in Google or Yahoo, you'll see us listed under "Sponsored ads." But please don't click on them (unless you hate me) because I get charged between 10 cents and a dollar-fifty per click.

By the way, if you do hate me, then be sure to book your reservation online and use your American Express card, because I get charged more than if you called and put it on MasterCard/Visa.

Click for full-size (readable) versions

Slogans and names

Believe it or not, it took a while to come up with "historic elegance in Lancaster County." Now I'm playing around with "18th-century luxury, 21st century comfort." Here are some other mottos we considered:

• Speedwell Forge, the #1 destination in Lancaster County for FedEx and UPS since March 2005
• Speedwell here, be forge you go anywhere else
• Speedwell Forge, just be grateful it wasn't Quitapahilla Forge
• Historic elegance at the border between Lancaster and Lebanon counties

And my favorite...

• Grandma's House B&B, my what big muffins you have

Yeah, it was almost called "Grandma's House B&B" because it was, after all, Dawn's grandma's house. Plus it was a pun on Little Red Riding Hood, with the wolf sanctuary next door. However, at the B&B workshop we attended two years ago they said "Grandma's House" evoked country Victorian, which was definitely not our goal. So it became Speedwell Forge B&B, although I wish there was a way to tell people that Speedwell Forge Road, Speedwell Forge Lake, and Speedwell Forge Park were named after us, not the other way around.

They also shot down "Grandma's room" because, they said, nobody wants to have a romantic getaway in Grandma's room. So it became Kathryn's Room, which was Dawn's grandmother, although I'm sure her grandfather Gerald would have liked a shout out as well. I think Kathryn's room works quite well. The room name that isn't working, though, is the Boys' room.

Named for Dawn's two step-brothers (who grew up there), it was always referred to as "the boys' room." Naturally we decorated it with a very masculine theme, with red paint and dark woods, blinds instead of drapes, and very simple furnishings. I know (from personal experience) that there's a large contingent of men who want to be romantic, but don't want the foo-foo you find at many B&Bs: The overstuffed comforters, the drapery-wrapped beds, the Laura Ashley sheets, the pillow shams that cover the bed, etc. So we thought we had a gold mine there.

Then we found out the Eastlake beds were three-quarter size, not twins, and so would not come together to make a king. Since most guys' idea of a romantic weekend is not sleeping in separate beds (or squeezing into a bed that is smaller than a full), everything changed.

We regrouped and decided to market towards women traveling together. It's a good plan--the market is just as large, and it's definitely underserved by the B&B community. However, now we have the challenge of getting women to stay in a masculine room whose moniker now takes on a completely different tone. To men, "the boys' room" is a place to relax and have fun; to women, it sounds like a restroom.

Since the bedroom set is Eastlake style, we considered the "Eastlake room," but since we're right by an actual lake, people might think they have a view of the water. We also considered "the compass rose room" (after the Amish quilts) or "The Red Room," but shot those down pretty quickly. I'd like to name something after the original builder, James Old, but "The Old room" doesn't have a lot of appeal, either.

Our last hope is to find some wealthy benefactor and name the room after them. How does the "Anne B. Sweigart Room" grab you?

Poem

I tried to write a poem, I don't know what inspired me.

History of Speedwell Forge
Beauty of Lancaster County
Comfort of the modern day
Elegance of an age gone by

I also wrote a haiku.

1760
Historic elegance in
Lancaster County

Don't worry, I'm a better innkeeper than I am a poet. (Of course, that's not saying much.) Anybody have a word that rhymes with "Forge" besides "gorge" and "george"? I can't figure out how to work either of those in.

I do have to say that it's been lovely here since the end of July. The temperature has been in the low to mid-80s, the humidity has been low, the bugs have been scarce, the breeze blows the leaves about, and the rain cleans everything up. I still miss L.A. -- or, more specifically, the ocean, my friends and co-workers, and my fish -- but it's peaceful here in a way that L.A. could never be. Or maybe I'm peaceful here in a way that I could never be in L.A. That is a little inspiring.

Snapped this photo of the 200-year-old sycamore trees on my way back from the Paymaster's Office today.

Rack cards

I hate marketing, probably because I suck at it. Here's the fruits of my labor today; feedback desperately desired.

Front

Back

Social gaffes II

• I was showing some guests where Route 30 was, with all of the Amish attractions, and they asked about restaurants in the area. My hand happened to be on White Horse which made me think of the White Horse Inn. I've never been but I'd seen many recommendations, plus it is historic, so I heartily recommended it. Turns out I was thinking of the Iron Horse Inn, in Strasburg. The White Horse Inn is a coffee shop in a 1950s-era ranch house. But since I had highly recommended it, my guests ate there anyway, and told me how bad it was later.
• I had a guest with a thick Boston accent. While chatting about the weather, she mentioned that she hates New England weather, and doesn't know why she stays there. I replied, "Because nobody would understand what you're saying any place else." Yeah, I said that.
• I had another guest with a strong English accent. Years ago, Dawn and I had been turned on to PG Tips tea, which is very popular in the UK but not sold in the US. We still had a box from our England trip, so I thought it would be nice to put it in her room. As I grabbed it she said, "That's fantastic, I was just thinking how I'd love a cup of tea." Still thinking I was doing a good thing, I took the box to her room, and pointed out the coffee maker. It wasn't until several hours later that I realized I should have made the tea for her.
• I bake fresh sourdough bread most mornings, using a breadmaker on a timer so it is ready right at 8am. However, we have a room above the kitchen and the breadmaker woke the last guest at 4am! Not wanting to repeat that, I put the breadmaker in the library (which is beneath our bedroom), figuring I was usually the first one up and nobody would know. Needless to say, the next day two of our guests came down at 7:30am and they went in the library to watch some TV. They initially though the small was from a scented candle, but then they found the breadmaker behind one of the chairs. At about that point I came down and saw them in the library. Lacking any mental faculties at that hour, I just walked in, said "good morning," picked up the breadmaker, and walked out like it was a perfectly normal event.

Dawn had some, too:

• We were hosting a family reunion, with the parents, their four children, and three grandchildren. The parents were saying good-bye to each child individually, and probably would have been fine except I suggested Dawn take a group photo in front of the mansion. After she had gathered everyone together and snapped the photo, the mom just broke down, crying "my babies are leaving me!" That made Dawn burst into tears, and soon everyone was crying. Dawn quietly put down the camera and slipped back inside.
• We actually had a full house and so one of the children had to make reservations at another B&B. Then we had a last-minute cancellation, which I didn't mention to the guests, but Dawn did. The one couple cancelled their other reservation, which was really unfair because B&Bs don't overbook rooms like hotels do, so when you cancel last-minute the B&B has no chance of reselling the room. When I found out, I called the B&B and told them we would cover the entire room cost, so they didn't lose any revenue. So we got to make the breakfast and clean the room (and pay room taxes), and they got all the money.
• I was cleaning up after the family reunion and I got a late start, plus there was more to clean than usual, so I was running quite late when the next guests arrived. Dawn met them at the door and asked them to have a seat in the parlor, while she came out to check my progress. The guests misunderstood, and they followed her to the room. So as Dawn unintentionally showed them the unmade beds and dirty floor, the bags of trash and empty bottles, she tried to explain what had happened, but we all just glared at her, even me. (And I was the one at fault for not having the room ready at three o'clock!)

It's nice not being the only contributor sometimes...

Gen-X

I am "Generation X," which really doesn't mean anything except that I'm not a baby boomer. I think I do fit the gen-x profile, though: tech-savvy, skeptical, and interested in value more than brand.

That same stereotype, however, means that from a marketing perspective, I've already got three strikes against me:

1. While the Internet has made finding B&Bs easier than ever before, it has also made booking hotels easier than ever before. If you were looking at AAA guide, for example, you'd see hotels mixed in with B&Bs, and one day you'd probably stay at a B&B just to try something different. But if you're online looking at hotels, you're only going to see hotels, so you'll never think of a B&B.
2. How do you advertise to skeptics, who only trust word of mouth recommendations? Of course, someday I hope to have enough people to promote us, but where do you start?
3. Gen-Xers are not coming to Lancaster to stay at my B&B. They are coming to experience the Amish, the antique malls, the golf courses, or whatever, and for them, lodging is an incidental expense. If all they want is a clean bed, they can get one a lot cheaper somewhere else, so they won't see the value in the B&B.

Plus I've got a fourth strike:

4. Gen-Xers are between 28 and 40. Since many put off having kids, most have children under 10. And Gen-Xers, as a group, want to bring their children, not get away from them. Given the historic nature of the mansion, not to mention all of the antiques, the B&B just isn't appropriate for small children.

There is a silver lining, though: Gen-Y. Today's twentysomethings are young, pampered, and "embrace shameless consumerism" (according to a study I read) and--this was kind of scary--they considerably outnumber us Gen-Xers. (50 million from 1965-1980, as opposed to 57 million from 1981-1995.) They aren't just comfortable with technology, they require it. I already have wireless high speed Internet access and alarm clocks with an MP3 line; now I just have to set up some IM bots and podcasts to advertise. (And I'm working on a viral video--details soon.) However, this blog is so Gen-X--I really need to set up a MySpace or YouTube page.

Plus I've still got the boomers, all 76 million of them. The early boomers are retiring and looking to travel, and the late boomers have teenagers and still want (need) to get away. They know about and love B&Bs, and they appreciate history, elegance, and luxury, which is my target market.

Of course, this is all gross stereotyping, but that's what marketing is, right?

Boys' quilts

Okay, so you know the saga of the beds in the Boys' room: We initially assumed they were twins, then when they were restored and returned to us we found out they were "three-quarter" size (between a twin and a full), and we had to scramble to order custom mattresses to fit, which arrived at 8am on the day of our open house.

What you don't know is that we had already bought twin-size quilts from Esh Valley quilts, a wonderful place run by an Amish woman on her farm by Paradise. Fortunately she was willing to exchange them for full-size quilts, but Dawn couldn't find two that would work in the same room, so we had to special-order them.

In the meantime, the photographers came to take pictures of the mansion. Since the Summer Kitchen and Paymaster's Office weren't ready yet, we used those quilts, even though one was a king-sized green "wedding ring" and the other a queen-sized "log cabin." Needless to say, they didn't go together.

Well, the new quilts are finally here:

On September 18, the photographers will be back to shoot the cottages, but now that the quilts are in the right place, we're going to have the same quilts in two photos! So we'll probably have to re-shoot the Boys' room, anyway.

Oh, some good news: There's a lot of interest in a room with two beds. When I found out we couldn't make those into a king bed, I thought we were doomed, and nobody was going to ever rent that room. Turns out there are a lot of women traveling together (especially mothers and daughters) that are finding us, even though I'm not advertising it anywhere.